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Nuckin' Futs
Hummm, let's see, did I send in a column for this
issue or not? ...I think I have Alzheimer's, but I forget...Hummm, what was the
subject of it?... Did I mention that I have Alzhiemers, I forgot... Where am
I?.. I think you should know I have Alizixheimmurs, Shucks, now I forgot how to
spell it! YUK-YUK!! The beauty of my affliction is that I'm always experiencing
new things all the time. Even though I have been married to the same wonderful
woman for 29 years now in my mind we are still just dating. I wonder if I'll get
lucky tonight? Maybe make first base! Am I still a virgin? Let's see what was
her address and phone #, where did I put that? That kind of mindset is not very
humorous when we are out riding our motorcycles though. A momentary lapse of
attention can have disastrous, deadly results. There ain't no simple "OOPS,
Sorry" when it comes to riding our scooters. Any encounter with another vehicle
and we lose, be it car, truck, another bike, semi, or train. Heck, it don't even
have to be a vehicle. Curbs, trees, dogs, deer, cats, rats, elephants,
rhinoceroses, etc. Even the pavement we ride on is pretty unforgiving when we
hit it. By the way that brings me to something that really pisses me off every
time I see it. These IDIOTS thinking they are cool riding around with bare legs
[shorts] and tennis shoes or sandals. And then to top it off with a full face
helmet!! Like that makes it all better. 85% of all motorcycle accidents involve
the LEGS!! Myself I have, starting at the bottom, three broken toes, two
shattered ankles, 50 stitches right leg, torn ligaments [ACL] both knees, and my
wife is paralyzed below the waist from a 16 year old kid running a red stoplight
down in Austin,TX 29 years ago. A split second contact with them exhaust pipes
[which you are straddling] is third degree burns. And it goes way beyond the
nice little term "Road Rash", it's a bloody, gravelly, infected, mess.You can
tell that clown dressed in their costume has never dumped one of those hot
monsters. All it will take is once and they won't be in that get-up no more. You
don't plan on going down, that's why they call it an ACCIDENT!! Whew, kinda got
my blood pressure up but I hate to see them have to go through that misery to
learn a valuable lesson, like I had to. Ok, so we have discovered that Stupidity
is dangerous, along with a momentary lapse of attention. Now we will discuss a
lapse of reason. Like having a bunch of straight shots of booze on the stops of
a poker run. They say one drink or beer per hour is OK. Or what I did was
alternate between beer/booze and soda pop/water on the stops. It's about riding,
enjoying the countryside, friends, your scooter pulling you along, not how drunk
you can get. And besides you're not enjoying the ride if you are always
concerned about looking out for the cops, 'cuz you know you are over the limit.
Getting drunk is easy, it's staying sober that's difficult. You can do it,
you're a tuff guy aren't you? Or are you going to let that booze kick your ass
and maybe put everyone else in jeopardy. I tell you it really is a buzzkill on a
poker run having to put your friend and his 'ol lady in ambulances and then
trying to figure out what you are going to do with their crumpled up motorcycle.
It's not a pleasant thing seeing bones sticking out of flesh, lives torn apart
or ended. Little too graphic for ya? Well this isn't all fun and games, it's
serious business. "It won't happen to me". Yeah, right, I'm here to tell you it
will!! Vigilance always on all aspects. And if you forget that you shouldn't be
riding a motorcycle!
Oh Wow, finally made a meeting, or should I say that Freebird goomer did an'
told me what went on. It was on 6-6-09 and it started at 1:19 pm at Ed and Dea's
Backwoods Bar in Marion. They did the reading of the minutes and it went
something like this, "Tick, Tick, Tick, etc. etc."Then they voted to approve of
them, which they did except for one obtaining vote in opposition [I wonder who
that was?]. Treasurers report, got a little dough in there...PARTY? They shot me
down, the fuddy-duddys! John Harris gave his State Rep report [did I mention he
does a great job] about ABATE products; do we want bandanas, cups, caps,
underwear [I just threw that in, personally haven't worn them since '74, I know,
too much information], etc. Various grants were discussed. Maybe use some of the
money for disposable blood/ alcohol testing meters as give aways to ABATE
members. That's a good idea. Plans for a rodeo and the Sherman gathering were
talked about. Lots of info from ABATE of Wisconsin about impaired riding [Gee,
seems like I kinda remember somebody else talking about that]. Zzen is gonna go
for our own T-shirts, now there's a fashion statement! Rick Strand won $11.50
from the 50/50 drawing, donated $10.00 back, took home $1.50, Woo-Hoo, the
family will eat tonite!! Ella from the Ace of Spades won the SOL, wasn't there.
Saw some of the Zzen clan at a Jim Casey and the Lighting band reunion down in
Beresford recently. They did some of their world famous hits like "I Hear you
Been Doin' my 'ol Lady, Jimmy Queen" and "Rotten Crotch", definitely High-Brow
entertainment! Been 30 years since we seen them last. I'm feelin' old, time for
a nap! Hootie- Hoot!! Wiz
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Wiz
Rant